


Bat Wallet

by Gemini_00



Series: Batfamily Shorts [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily, Batfamily Feels, Crack, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Hal Jordan is a little shit, Humor, Kinda, Other, Protective Bruce Wayne, There is cursing, good dad Bruce Wayne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 08:56:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17659721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_00/pseuds/Gemini_00
Summary: Hal Jordan is stuck in a car with Bruce Wayne. Hal is intrigued by what a billionaire’s wallet must look like. He does not expect to find pictures of ALL Batman’s kids. It’s kinda cute to know the big bad bat is just a big softie.





	Bat Wallet

Hal Jordan could not believe out of all people he needed to be stuck with for the Justice League mission was the Batman. Who had to play his part as Bruce Wayne to reach the technology Hal would need in order to help save the universe. The second Hal walked through manor doors, he was being bitched at about clothing and how Bruce has an image. As far as Hal knew, Brucie’s image was to act like a complete tool with and adopting problem. Still, the Batman shoved him in a suit.

Whatever, atleast Hal got to pick the sick ride they were in. until Bruce decided to use a chauffeur because he didn’t think he could focus on driving and how big of an idiot the Green Lantern was. 

“Can I see your wallet?” Hal asked, “I always wanted to see a billionaire’s wallet.”

“Look at your own wallet,” Bruce grunted.

Hal smiled, “Oh, I don’t have a wallet. I just use a paperclip for my credit card and license along with a ten dollar bill just incase.”

Bruce looked at him so dumbfounded he couldn’t believe the man was trusted to guard the universe. He sighed and handed the man his wallet.

“Whoa, even your credit card is heavy. All four of them,” Hal grinned before seeing the rows of photos that fell from the wallet.

“You know you don’t need this anymore,” Hal grinned, “We have phones.”

Bruce chose not to answer but instead let Hal look through them. The first one being a image of Martha and Thomas Wayne with a baby Bruce, “Oh look you smiled here, that’s cute. I didn’t know that was a thing.”

Nothing.

“I don’t have a dad either, but he’s just gone. Not murdered.”

The glare the Bat sent his way allowed him to flip. The next was an image of Alfred, Bruce, and a young Dick Grayson. Behind that was one of Barbara Gordon and Dick, “Oh that’s sweet. All your kids and stuff. Little Dickie. Say, you ever think of asking him to go by something else, it opens up alot of funny put downs.”

Bruce sighed, “You sound like my eighteen year old.”

Hal rolled his eyes but found flipped towards the image of a scrawny boy with turquoise eyes and a crooked smile that cried mischief. He was holding up adoption papers. The picture behind that was one of the same person but buffed as hell with bright green eyes, he was with Oliver Queen’s former ward.

“Oh, I know this one. He’s the murdery one. The big murdery one. Not the little murdery one,” Hal grinned, “Hey, didn’t he die?”

Bruce groaned, “You’re about to make me murdery.”

“Yeah,” Hal nodded, “Probably not. You’re not so scary after looking through these you big softie.”

Hal flipped to the next one as Bruce made a grab for it but he didn’t manage to get it. The next image was of a blonde and asian girl. He didn’t recognize either of them, the one behind that was a the asian girl with ballet, “Oh that’s sweet. I didn’t know you had daughters.”

“Daughter. Singular,” Bruce montoned, “Do you watch the news? She’s literally Gotham’s sweetheart.”

“I ignore most things Gotham. Unless it’s an interview with you. Then I just speed it up so you talk in a really squeaky voice,” Hal grinned, before showing him, “Like this.”

“Her name is Cassandra, Black Bat. And that’s Stephanie. Batgirl, Tim’s girlfriend,” Bruce rolled his eyes, “We shoulda took the Batmoible. Traffic moves for that.”

“That’s Tim’s girlfriend. She is hot,” He nodded.

“She’s sixteen,” Bruce actually looked murderous.

“Not hot,” Hal shook his head, “I meant Hot as in the purple sweater looks hot. She’s sweaty.”

“Sweaty?” Bruce raised an eyebrow.

“Let's look at the next picture. Oh it’s Tim and Sweaty, in a purple mini dress. Not sweaty there. Chilly. Okay, look you and Tim at Wayne enterprises, what a smart kid you got.”

“Genius kid,” Bruce corrected before sighing, “Thank god you don't reproduce.”

“Isn’t your bio kid like an assassin?” Hal asked, but he was greeted with a glare that made him feel like he was with Batman again, “Assassin with a heart of gold. He reminds me of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.”

“My eleven year old reminds you of a hooker?” Bruce raised an eyebrow. Oh shit, this was not good. He fastly shook his head.

“You know, she did fantastic in that role. Okay, next.” There was only one image of a black teenager in there that Hal didn’t recognize.

“Oh, who’s this?” Hal asked.

“None of your business,” Bruce answered immediately.

“Okay, looks like a great kid,” Hal smiled before reaching the last two images.

It was Damian Wayne’s school picture with his front tooth missing. It was actually kind of cute, “Awe, he doesn’t look murdery at all. Hey, how’d he lose his tooth? Isn’t he like thirteen?”

“Eleven. And since he has been with me, he’s lost seven of them. All the teeth he lost prior to then were returned to baby teeth when his mother used lazarus waters on him,” Bruce explained if that was normal.

“Yeah,” Hal nodded, “You know, I take back anything I ever said about Robin. With you two as parents, he turned out a helluva alot better than I originally thought.”

Bruce clearly didn’t catch the sarcasm, “Thank you, Jordan. He has grown quite a bit. He doesn’t throw knives at Timothy at breakfast anymore. Just threatens. Dinner is still an issue.”

The image behind that was Damian Wayne being held by his father who was looking at a picture of artwork, “Awe, look how cute this is.”

“Yes, I make and find very cute children,” Bruce deadpanned.

“Yeah, Okay,” Hal nodded, about to return the wallet when he found a very sexual image of woman wearing nothing but lingerie and a suit jacket. She had short dark hair with hypnotic green eyes, “Holy shit, Bats. Do random girls just give you sexy pictures of themselves? I’m about to be a billionaire if I get this type of action.”

“That is my fiance,” Bruce glared. Now Bruce truly scared him, “There was a reason it was not with the rest of the picture but hidden in the zipper.”

“I thought it was gonna be like a coupon or something,” Hal shrugged.

“I’m a billionaire,” Bruce declared.

“Oh,” Hal nodded, “So, she seems lovely. Where did you meet her?”

“She robbed me,” Bruce answered.

“Of course she did,” Hal agreed, “I don’t suppose she’s a housewife type.”

“No. Now give me back my wallet. We’re reaching our stop.”

“Oh, thank god,” Hal threw his wallet back at him. He sincerely hoped that he never had to be stuck with Batman alone ever again. Or any of his kids. Or his fiance. 

Well, maybe his fiance.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make the world go round. I know this is basically just dialogue but I couldn’t help laughing. I think I’m hilarious
> 
> Please support this wonderful Batfamily/Redhood fan series where I've gathered my inspiration for Damian Wayne and Jason Todd. Seriously they are Ismahawk level good  
> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq-0ZJeZQ99fS8CiF6nBlgg
> 
> and please support their Kickstart by donating even a dollar and share with your friends! They need it or we won't get a season two
> 
> http://bit.ly/redhoods2
> 
> Comments make the world go round.


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